Entertainment, News

“Please, please please, please tune in”: BBC Employees Receive a Special Email From Alan Partridge

0 157

BBC employees checking their emails this morning would have expected the usual kind of information and notices that they receive every day. Today though, the 25th of February, is no ordinary day.

It is the day Alan Partridge returns to our screens and attempts to cement himself back in the limelight of the BBC in his new-magazine style show This Life, which premiers tonight on BBC One at 9:30pm.

This marks a 24-year break from working at the BBC for Alan, in which he was cast out of the broadcasting company for accidentally shooting a talk-show guest and assaulting a BBC commissioning editor. The scarce details which have been revealed about the show inform us that he will tackle such controversial issues as the Me Too Movement and Brexit. What could possibly go wrong?

In his email, Alan informs his colleagues that:

‘Yes, some 24 years after my last presenting gig, the BBC have sidled up to me with a short-term offer to co-present your much-loved magazine show This Time, standing in for John Baskell who’s been taken ill. My response? Well, although my diary is as clogged as John’s arteries (get well, John!) I have agreed to drop everything and step up.

Now, some of you aren’t going to like that. Some of you made clear when I left that I wouldn’t be welcome back; a woman who worked in compliance called Karen or Kate or Kath who had long wavy hair and apparently still works here sneered so hard I thought her face would turn inside out.’

He continued: ‘But back I am, as evidenced by this, my own official BBC email address. And with it I reach out to you, my colleagues – not to gloat, or settle old scores, or say, ‘Hey, Karen/Kate/Kath, why don’t you kiss my arse’ – but to be the bigger man and clear the air of any residual stench.’

‘No, it’s time for a clean slate and no hard feelings. Because I love the BBC and I always have. While others might say it’s a smug anachronism full of braying, know-nothing chancers doling out fat commissions to their braying, know-nothing Oxbridge mates, I don’t. I think the BBC is great and watch its programmes avidly, regardless of their quality.’

‘All I ask is that you return the favour. All of you. From on-screen talent right the way down to off-screen staff. I ask every one of this email’s 20,000+ recipients to tune in tonight at 9.30pm on BBC One. Even if nobody else in the country does, we’re already hitting the kind of numbers my shows were getting on Sky Atlantic. Spread the word to a few more and my viewing figures will show the upward trajectory management is bound to want a piece of.”

Alan signs off by repeatedly pleading his colleagues to tune into his new show tonight ‘Please, please please, please tune in’ and stresses that the email has been sent by ‘Your colleague (and I am your colleague).’

We can only hope Alan stays a colleague at the BBC for as long as possible this time around, but with the controversial topics he is said to tackle – you may feel he might get himself into trouble again. Just maybe.

About the author / 

Jack Warne

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More News Stories:

  • Kaytranada @ Co-Op Live review – a timeless performance

    Featured image and gallery: Jack Oliver After eight packed out performances across Europe Kaytranada arrives at Co-Op Live for his largest show on the European leg of his ‘Timeless Tour’. The 23,000 capacity venue is filled with excited fans who eagerly anticipate the start of the show after energetic performances from Pomo, Lou Phelps and…

  • From Feed to Feet: How gorpcore fashion has boosted communities of young men to walk and talk

    Featured image: Olivia Taberner and Adomas Lukas Petrauskas From Arc’teryx raincoats to mud-clogged Salomons, we explore how outdoor garments have evolved from fashion trends to functional wear – bringing together communities of young men in the process. What began as a Patagonia jacket and a sunrise ambition soon turned into getting “battered at 3am by…

  • The Success of Moss Side filmmaker Baka Bah: “Whenever I do say where I’m from, I automatically see labels pinging over my head”

    Featured image: Yas Lucia Mascarenhas and Adomas Lukas Petrauskas Manchester’s inner-city neighbourhood of Moss Side is often portrayed in the media as a dangerous area, plagued by knife crime and shootings. However, one resident and Manchester Met student – Baka Bah – believes this one-sided story doesn’t reflect the true spirit of his community. While…

  • Queer Lit: Europe’s largest LGBTQ+ bookstore on building a legacy in Manchester

    Featured image: Molly Goble and Nicola Henry In the last five years, hate crimes against LGBTQ+ people have risen by 112%, underscoring the critical need for safe, inclusive spaces where queer individuals can find a sense of belonging. Amid this crisis, Queer Lit has emerged as a sanctuary in the form of a literary refuge…