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Words by James Wolff
Alas! The tenth series of The X Factor has finally reached what can only be described as a morbidly foreseeable anticlimax. The final weekend saw an ’emotional’ showdown between a woman, with a gap in her teeth big enough to accommodate the orbit of the International Space Station, and two teenage boys, who could easily be mistaken for a pair of butch middle-aged women.
The surviving acts were treated to a taste of arena performance, as the final was broadcast live from Wembley Arena in front of an audience of thousands. The audience at home, however, were treated to a medley of technical problems, ranging from judges microphones being left on during the acts’ performances, to microphones not being switched on at all. Why take the finale of ITV’s annual flagship show away from the controlled environment of a television studio?
Gary announced that this was going to be his last series on the X Factor. Hopefully he has discovered a place where they sell personality, and is going on a very long holiday there. Unfortunately, the show will be followed with the final seven contestants treating X Factor addicts to a glorified karaoke concert across the country.
Twenty minutes in, I inevitably reverted back to my usual Saturday and Sunday routine of ignoring the acts and spent the rest of the show guessing how many glasses of bubbly Nicole Scherzinger had been downing before the live transmission. We were treated to a sample of Nicole’s hideously infantile ramblings, before a swift dress change during the ad break saw the Knickerslinger take to the stage and perform a Jennifer Hudson impersonation with over-aged finalist Sam.
Let’s just hope that Simon Cowell will soon pull the plug on a competition that has long since become more predictable than Tom Daley’s sexual orientation. Or better still, make the future contestants battle to the death, Hunger Games style. Now that would be worth watching.
James Wolff is a first year student studying Digital Media & Communications. He likes unicorn steaks and probably won’t like you.