Humanity Hallows Issue 5 Out Now
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To celebrate International Women’s Day on March 8, we ask our writers to tell us about the women who inspire them.

By Elizabeth Gorman

On a drizzly day in 1972, my grandmother marched into a smoky boardroom full of dour men and pitched her case that she should be granted a raise. She was the top estate agent in the company; her sales record was off the charts. Yet, she had been made dimly aware of the fact that her male business partner, whilst doing half the work, was being paid twice as much as she was.

She was denied the raise. Despite this, she remained a loyal and devoted member of the company until her retirement in the eighties. She continued to excel at her trade, whilst her partner reaped the benefits.

My grandmother was the ultimate ‘modern woman’ in many ways. She worked for decades before the Equal Pay Act was even a glimmer in someone’s eye, and she supported her family through tough economic times. She was an unstoppable force; a woman living a dual life who would sit at a desk all day talking shop with the men and then be home in time to to cook dinner for her children.

My mum once asked me if I was ever sad that she had worked all through my childhood. “Did you feel cheated because I wasn’t there all the time?” she asked.

I replied that no, I didn’t, because nothing made me prouder as a child than when I saw mum clattering up the school drive in her smart suit and heels, ready to pick me up. She looked so professional and dignified. I remember thinking that that’s what I wanted to be when I was older. I would be a professional woman, inspiring my daughters to fight for their goals and do whatever men can do.

This is not, of course, a slight towards stay-at-home mums: I can imagine nothing more challenging than being a full-time housewife. It requires an immense amount of organisation and mental discipline, and I know I couldn’t do it.

There is something, however, that makes me immensely proud when I think about my mother and my grandmother’s working life. We live in a society that tells women they can ‘have it all’, whilst also condemning them for leaving their little ones with a nanny, and patronising them when they choose to stay behind and look after their kids. It is a difficult path to navigate, and I can’t help feeling that, as a society, we are far too harsh on our mothers, when after all, they are the ones who raise and support us.

For my mum, going out to work wasn’t a choice, it was a necessity. She describes how on her first day back she walked out of the house, weeping, finding separating herself from me akin to severing off a limb. But she had to do it for the good of the family, and for that I will always be grateful.

Of course, the women in my life were certainly aided by the thoughtfulness of two kind and helpful men. While they were the epitome of the modern woman, their husbands were a far cry from the stereotypical 1950s man: they understood the importance of helping with housework and spending time with their children.

The modern life requires balance and understanding. It is not so easy to ‘have it all’; mothers, both working and not working, are under constant criticism, and are made to feel like failures at every turn. I have been very lucky in that I’ve been brought up under the umbrella of two formidable yet nurturing women; they have balanced their tricky path through life like a trapeze artist, and they have done it always with elegance and grace.